When you take a deep dive into understanding yourself, you take the first step in how to learn to love yourself.
Some say that love is the opposite of fear. Where fear brings agony, paralyzation, and shame. Love brings comfort, peace, happiness.
Your ability to love yourself directly impacts your ability to love others. It increases your capacity to live out your dreams, which I believe is the real courage we seek.
Did you know that the word courage comes from the Latin word “cor” which means heart? I believe that self-love evokes positive energy that will allow you to gain clarity and live more courageously than before.
In this episode
16Personalities (free personality assessment)
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“It’s one thing to surround yourself with positivity, it’s another thing to be that positivity.” – Samuel Hatton click to tweet
“Your ability to love yourself directly impacts your ability to extend that and love others.” – Samuel Hatton click to tweet
Action Guide: How to Learn to Love Yourself in 10 Steps
Here are the various ways you can learn to love yourself. Each of the steps below has a few action items you can take to help you to learn to love yourself. Feel free to skip around and choose areas you need to work on most. Though there are several ways you can increase your ability to take care of yourself and choose self-love, these are ones that have helped me the most.
1) Learn about who you are
- Take the free Myers Briggs assessment at 16Personalities.
- Buy the Strengthsfinder 2.0 book and take the included assessment to discover your top strengths.
- Ask your friends what you qualities you have that they appreciate.
- Ask yourself the following questions: What am I good at? What compliments do people give me about who I am? What credentials do I have?
2) Appreciate and own your uniqueness
- Get a gratitude journal and begin listing a few things that you are grateful for each day.
- Ask yourself, What unique advantage you have over others.
- Ask yourself, How can I use my abilities and even disabilities to my advantage?
3) Dive into you
- Identify all the things that you cannot change about yourself and wear it proudly.
- Build on your strengths (see number 1) by going further than you ever gone with things that only you can do well.
- Get a physical journal to write about your thoughts, experiences, your goals, ambitions, to know you at an intimate level.
4) Cultivate a positive attitude
- Search for ideas to become more positive.
- Talk positively. Discuss things that you want in your life. Speak about the good. Avoid the negative stuff.
- Give compliments often.
- Smile often, even if nobody is watching.
5) Build Self-Confidence through truth
- Be honest with yourself and others.
- Get real with yourself by facing everything you are.
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Stop gossiping about others.
6) Set up personal boundaries
- Identify personal boundaries within your relationships, even with loved ones.
- Start saying “No” to people and things that sap your energy.
- Set up a consistent time of solitude for yourself and guard it.
7) Treat yourself
- Celebrate your wins, milestones, and even surprising events.
- Make sure to put yourself first when you need to.
- Take yourself out to get a treat, massage, or gift every now and then.
8) Fail Fast
- Don’t put yourself down when things don’t go your way.
- When in a tough situation, ask yourself, “What does this make possible?”
- Give yourself only 1 minute to be angry and upset, then move forward.
- Keep in mind that failure is necessary to be awesome eventually.
9) Grow your capacity
- Build mini habits that increase your capacity to be more.
- Take a communication course to grow your capacity to have more and deeper friendships.
- Ask your boss what you need to do in order to increase your income. If you are your boss ask yourself.
10) Utilize courage
- Write down your goals.
- Give yourself permission to dream large.
- Turn your passions and desires into a side project.
- Choose to live out YOUR dreams each and every day.
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Samuel Hatton is a multi-talented media creator and an encourager. His mission is to encourage others in who they truly are so that they can have greater capacity to live out their destiny. He does this by producing inspiring content as well as coaching people to take courageous action toward their passions and goals.
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