A compliment is more than something that is observable. It’s a way to affirm the good in other people. It’s a way to build up others. A gentleman should be giving sincere compliments often.
Affirming builds another person into who they are. It reminds them of value that they bring to other people. You can affirm someone by simply telling them that you accept, appreciate, or approve of them.
Compliments are free. You can give away compliments all day long and it never depletes.
In this episode
- Affirming as a love language
- Great quote from Charles Schwab
- Training others by way of compliments
- How this relates to the workplace
- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- Quote by Charles Schwab: “If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”
Words of affirmation – a type of love language
Words of Affirmation is a type of love language coined by Gary Chapman. It’s a way for others to receive love from another person. There are several ways that you can say I love you without actually saying it. Affirming is one of them.
It’s important to note also that though The Five Love Languages is primarily a romantic relationship book, the concept is definitely not limited to romantic love. It’s something that builds rapport and friendship with another person.
Give sincere compliments — sincerely!
The compliments we give absolutely must be sincere for them to carry any weight. She the things that YOU appreciate, not the things that are obvious. When you are able to uniquely point out and praise the things that you like about another person, you make a connection that is sincere. That’s what I call a real connection.
Training others’ behavior
If you want to change the way that someone behaves, you can do that through praise. Praise and compliment the things that you like. And simply don’t mention the things that you don’t like.
For example, let’s say that a co-worker has bad hygiene and doesn’t wash his hair. If you notice that he comes into work with a new haircut and washed hair, complimenting him on his hair will reinforce his behavior in minding his hygiene.
It’s your turn
Samuel Hatton is the full-time marketing guy at Endsight – San Francisco Bay Area’s premium locally sourced computer technology support. He’s a multi-talented creative, natural encourager, and is full of courageous ideas.
Weston Pokorny is a free-lance business technology consultant. People call him when they are faced with major projects they just can't get organized around. He's a master organizer, people connector, and is full of courageous compassion.